Duchy of Darkmere

Garlic powder, onion powder, Johnny's MSG-free seasoning (or Lawry's MSG-free), bread crumbs (those dried ones you get in a resealable cylinder container), flour (whatever type you want to use, I use unbleached wheat flour), dried thyme, dried parsley, ground chipotle or a chipotle grinder, olive oil or grapeseed oil (grapeseed is even healthier than olive oil, and it can be brought to higher temperatures without burning), 1 or two eggs, and of course, tilapia

Thaw the tilapia if it's frozen, 4-5 pieces, depending on how big of a pan you have

get a big resealable bag ready

put enough flour in the bag so it takes up about 2 (or 3) centimeters when you shake the bag, and then do the same with the bread crumbs

put about a centimeter of garlic powder and onion powder into the bag

shake just enough Johnny's or Lawry's into the bag that you can reasonably see its color in the mix

Shake just a pinch of thyme into the bag--enough to barely see its color, do the same with the dried parsley

Shake/grind about the same amount of chipotle as you did the Johnny's/Lawry's, maybe a little less if you're not big into chipotle

now make sure the bag has some air in it, seal it, and shake the bag horizontally until all the seasonings are homogenized as much as possible.

Get your pan ready--put 1-2 centimeters (vertically, after the oil has settled into the pan) of olive or grapeseed oil into the pan, and put it on high heat, making sure that if the edges of the pan start to get smoky because the next steps took longer than you anticipated, that you remove the pan from the heat for a short time and put the heat on either medium or medium-high, depending on how hot your stovetop gets. If you use grapeseed oil, you can get it much hotter without it starting to smoke. This shouldn't happen though--by the time you do the next steps, the oil should be at just about the right temperature.

Now get a bowl that's at least the size of the tilapia pieces ready and mix one or two eggs until it's homogenized reasonably well, throwing out the umbilical cord thingy you often find in eggs unless you don't care about that..

Now make sure the contents of the bag are sitting all at the bottom of the bag, and then set the bag sideways on the counter/table and open it carefully--the contents of the bag should still be at the bottom of the bag.

one at a time, put the fish pieces into the egg mixture, covering both sides, and carefully put them into the bag, making sure they don't touch the contents at the bottom of the bag yet, and stacking them so the bag is opened up wider towards the center of the bag.

Now carefully seal the bag, making sure there is still a lot of air in the bag besides the contents.

Shake away, horizontally and vertically, making sure that you push the bag in such a way while you're shaking it that the seasonings have a lot of air to move around in so it as evenly covers the fish as much as possible.

Now carefully put them into the oil--the hotter the oil, the nicer of a brown you can get the seasoning mixture on the outside of the fish without potentially overcooking the fish. When they become tan (or golden brown, depending on how hot you have the oil) on one side, flip them over and do the same for the other side. You will know when it is done cooking when it becomes more difficult to flip--for instance, if you use tongs to flip them the first time, you know it's done if you have to use a spatula to check for their doneness because they try to fall apart when (or if) you use the tongs.

This same procedure can be done with shrimp and be fantastic--I recommend taking the tails off the shrimp when they're raw so once they're done, you can eat them like popcorn instead of having to go through a procedure to eat them--and you get the most tasty breading coverage that way as well.

Needs more cowbell.

:p

LOLOLOL

I'm THE Bruce Dickinson...